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pika, 19 (+60) . uninteresting, pessimistic, simple and a fool . read at your own risk and for your own pleasure, if applicable . i blog not to impress anyone { }




chenchen day and updates ;
Saturday, September 21, 2013 ,8:21 PM (+ 0)

Ayo waddup guys. Idk how will this post looks like when you're viewing it on web browser because I'm updating using my phone.

Btw, this is a special post for our kim jongdae. Happy chenchen day to our chensing machine! I've wrote a long wish for him on my ask fm so check it out yo here's the link. Do ask me questions as well. So because I have wrote a long wish there, I won't say anything long here. Happy birthday kim jongdae, I will always sarang you.

Btw guys I have created a new instagram account where I post my edits. I have also made a special edit for jongdaes birthday so check it out on my instagram. I hope I will get more followers not because I'm desperate, its just that I need to see some supports from other people.

Anyway here's an update. I'm going to talk about my crush once in a while. I feel like giving up sometimes because it hurts. He's treating my best friend way better than how he treats me and of course I'm in the sea of jealousy until now.

They even love the same band while me? Still with my obsession towards asian boys. I feel tiny. Its like I know I'm nothing compared to my friend. He even told her that he wants to go to the same university as her and I was speechless upon hearing that. My best friend knows I have a crush on that guy but she will never care about how I am feeling inside. She never even comforts me.

That's why I'm being so blunt and cold to all of the people around me. I don't really talk that much too lately. Because I don't have the mood to. Its like can you guys just leave me alone. I'd rather be alone than to be around people.

You know why. Because this world is stabbing me hard. The people and their cruelty. Why am I living in this bleeding world. Why must I be the one to live in this generation.

I'm forever trembling in tears about everything, about my life, I hate myself too. I wonder if there's anyone who feels like quitting themselves like I do. Or I am the only one who feels like quitting myself. I'm just another idiot who receives unjust treatment from the people around her.

And I finally lose my confidence and hopes.



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